Good Practice/Bad Practice

One of the biggest blocks to establishing a consistent daily practice is being tripped up by the occasional (or sometimes regularly occuring) "bad practice" session.

A "bad" practice can leave you feeling demoralized and unmotivated about your personal cultivation for weeks.

If we take a look into what characterizes a "bad" practice, and what characterizes a "good" practice, we can gain some deeper insight into what is really going on.

For many of us, if we sit down to meditate - for example - and all we can do is think the whole period, we may label this a "bad" practice.

Other times, we get on the yoga mat, and we are just not feeling as flexible, compassionate, or peaceful as we are "supposed" to when we do this practice.

The problem here is that we've allowed our practice to become infected with a "should".

What's the problem with a "should"? Well, a "should" is different than a goal. A goal is something like "I'd like to be able to hold the crane pose in yoga for five breaths in two months", or "I'd like to be able to concentrate my mind peacefully for 20 minutes straight by this time next year". These are reasonable, achievable milestones that one can aim one's practice toward.

Shoulds, on the other hand, are unreasonable in that they are usually saying that whatever is happening is not what is "supposed" to be happening. This "supposed" to does not help one get toward ones goals. In the Dao De Ching - an ancient Chinese classic, advises us "the journey of 1000 miles starts with the first step". When we are focusing on the shoulds, we are focusing on some other step than the one in front of us. This makes it practically impossible to get to our goals in the long run - and makes us feel bad about ourselves in the short run.

Anyone who has been able to take a practice and make it consistent - like skilled atheletes, or musicians - can tell you that you have to take the good days with the bad days. Now this isn't some pessimistic view that says "practice will always be hard" - there are many masters who have reached a place of lasting peace - it is just the knowledge that a bad day doesn't mean that something is wrong with your practice.

The bad days are, in fact, something very right with your practice. There is a phase of meditation that I like to call "beginners luck" - when you just get to sit quietly and "at peace". For most, this phase only lasts for about a week, until you get quiet enough to actually hear all that was going on under the surface level of your mind. These noisier practice days can, at times, be a good sign that you are actually getting more sensitive.

The same can be true if you are attempting to integrate a new level of ethics or integrity into your life. There may be many days as you being that you feel you are doing much worse, but it's actually just because you are finally paying attention.

Finally, the rough points in our daily cultivation form the raw material for our inner growth. It's an evolutionary practice - we have to struggle with it, we have to push ourselves in order to grow. It can't just be roses and rainbows all the time - that's just not realistic for most, and even if it was, it's not especially beneficial.

When working to make your practice stick - to make it a part of your life, learn to stick with it no matter what. It can be extremely exciting when we make some stride in our meditation, yoga, or anything else, but what we are really looking for is the type of patient mind that can continue on during a dry spell. If we are looking at the big picture, this type of patient and enduring mind is actually what we're attempting to develop through all of this meditation and yoga. The way we can develop it is through learning to simply be with our practice - whether it seems exciting at the moment, or a little dull. With this ability to stay, we will notice over time that our level does increase, our experience does qualitatively better, and our practice matures.

Action steps:

Find out what for you constitutes a "bad" practice. When you have this type of session, does it derail you?

What are the goals of your practices contrasted with the "shoulds"?

If you are not experiencing difficult practice days, do you think you are expanding or progressing in your personal cultivation?

enlightened self interest

"Enlightened Self Interest" is a quote that I've stolen from His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet.

What does this mean? Well, to me, in terms of the development of a daily cultivation practice, it means that one has to care enough about oneself to get down to business and do the hard work that it takes.

And I think it's important that we be clear - it's about caring about yourself.

Now ultimately, your practice may look like something that only really benefits others. Or your practice may look like torture on some mornings when you haven't had quite as much sleep as you'd like. Sometimes after a long long week of work, my practice looks like a horrible idea. At these times, i have to remember that it's about caring for myself - that I am the one who will benefit.

In the Tibetan understanding of Karma, they point out a very sad fact - our most natural reactions are usually the ones that are going to give us a world that we dont want. That means, that the tendency to try to do what's going to "feel good" in the moment, is often going to lead us to pain later on.

We can see this in very simple things. If we only did what felt good in the moment, we might end up addicted to horrible drugs, or dishonouring our committed relationships, or some other unsavory manifestation. If we only ate in a way that was satisfying in the moment, we might end up overweight, or with heart disease, or other health conditions. Now, there are some folks who just naturally enjoy honouring their commitments and eating healthy food, but they are a special case (to be explored at a different time) - the vast majority of people in the world seem to be on the other side, attracted toward things which are not especially beneficial for them - you can see this through the things that most people buy, and the costs of health care.

Perhaps this is not you, but if it isn't, then you don't need to read this blog - because you are already firmly established in your regular daily cultivation without fail, and happy because of it. If you are not, then it is likely that you are still sacrificing a greater happiness that takes time for a lesser happiness that you can have right now.

To be totally honest, you have to really know WHY you need to practice, if you are going to withstand all the very valid reasons NOT to on some days. It's really just a matter of logic. Personally, I live in Santa Cruz, and I'm a massage therapist - I'm the kind of guy who would LIKE it to be something that I feel. Unfortunately, i discover that this is not the case.

The emotion of anger is a good example. When someone pushes your buttons, and the fight or flight system gets engaged, it seems perfectly logical to just shout at them, or hit them, or go out and do something that hurts them just a little bit from the feeling side of things. All the feelings in the body are pushing you toward some negative action or thought. There are many people who just act on these thoughts, people who harm others out of impulse.

Among the people who do this type of harm under the influence of their negative emotions - many feel very sad after they cool down. Many of us only recognize the harm we've done when irrevocable consequences come around.

People who act out of impulse in this way are lacking in Enlightened Self Interest.

If you are practicing something worth your time, it is something that is going to save you from pain, increase your skill - improve your entire life. This is worth a bit of sacrifice. How much sacrifice? Well, i suppose it depends upon the practice. Some people sacrifice everything for a practice like dance, martial arts, business - they may sacrifice relationships, ethics, other people, their health. This is not the type of sacrifice I'm talking about.

What if there was a type of practicing that led you to be a brighter light to all those around you. What if it also made you happier and clearer the more you engaged in it? Would not this type of activity be worth letting go of some lesser satisfiers that are just about blowing off some steam in the moment? Would not this type of practice be worth making yourself get up and do it - even if all your feelings are protesting - because you KNOW it's the right thing to do? This is enlightened self interest.

This type of practice is the art of truly caring for yourself at all costs.

action steps:

1. Find out if your practice is worth sacrificing for

2. Observe during each day what type of instincts arise for you - which ones, if gratified would lead to lasting benefit? Which ones would lead to harm?

3. Think out the logic behind dedicating yourself to your personal cultivation. Why is it important? Why should it be upheld no matter what?

Honouring the Teacher and the Lineage

In the Classical traditions of Yoga, it would be unthinkable to undertake training without a Master Teacher to guide you on the Path.

Nowadays, this type of relationship can seem far off. It may be that there is so much information available in the world, that you don't even know where you'd settle down if you wanted to. It may be that you would love to work with a Teacher, but just aren't sure that anyone will meet up to the standards of someone you can fully trust in the way that will make your practice mature. Sometimes, there just aren't any Teachers around.

How does a Teacher help you to mature your practice? There are a number of ways. One way is related to the ancient tradition of taking vows. In the Tibetan tradition, it is accepted that you could take a vow in front of an image of the Buddha - or if you were in another tradition, you might think of taking your vows before the eyes of God, but it is considered even more powerful if you can take a vow in front of someone that you respect deeply. Why is this so? Because the ancient Teachers knew that if you were going to break your vow, you'd think of when you knelt in front of that person who you deeply respect, and you'd have to think of how they'd feel if you broke your vow. When you contemplate in this way, you are less likely to disrespect that sacred relationship.

What makes that type of relationship sacred? Is it the person's robes, or station? No. It is the respect you bring to them. It is the holiness that you see in them which makes the relationship work. When you have a relationship with a Teacher, it works the same with your daily practice. It is because you respect them that you will honour the relationship by practicing. If you don't practice, you are being disrespectful to that person who is so hard to find, a true Teacher.

On the other hand, if you DO honour the relationship, you have one of the highest tools to generate good energy in your own life, and the lives of those around you. You can make your practice into an offering to the Teacher - and it is the Highest form of offering that you can give such a person.

But wait a minute.... many of us have not met a teacher who we feel THIS level of respect and devotion toward. Some are probably reading this blog and just thinking of their yoga class at the local yoga center, or the like. What if you don't have a Teacher, what if you just have teachers? Well, then we need to know where Teachers and Teachings actually come from. Why is it that some people have a yoga or qigong practice that feels to them like the most sacred thing they've ever encountered, while others are still looking for something that lives up to what they know is possible. Why are some people able to recognize deep and sacred teachings from the very first go, while others only realize it years after they've left those opportunities to practice behind.

The answer, according to the ancient teachings, is that these things are not coming from where we always thought they were. The sacred arts of yoga, meditation, kung fu, and the like don't just arrive in your world from their own impetus - you create them, you magnetize them to you. You can call it the power of your mind, or like the ancients, you can call it karma. It is the way you treat and think about others that determines the kind of world you see. This is what has given you access to the very Teachings you are working so hard to practice regularly, this is also what can make or break your success in creating a daily habit of cultivation. Finally, this is what determines the shape of the Teachers that manifest in your life.

What does this mean on the practical level? Well, a couple of things. One is that if all you see are teachers, and you'd like to be seeing Teachers, you've got to start planting the seeds with who you have nearby. What does this mean? It means take the instructions given to you by your teachers and put them to the test. First, think them over and find out if they are valid (real Teachers LOVE when you do this). Then, if you find out that they make sense, just give them your all. Make an offering out of it, and dedicate the energy of making that offering to your finding a Path you can devote yourself to wholeheartedly.

The second way to create more Teachers in your world is to be a refuge to others. Do you know someone who would really benefit from some yoga and cannot afford the money or time to go to a class? Teach them what you know - even if it's just a little bit. This gives your mind's creative energy the signal to bring more of that back to you, and you'll start seeing the most amazing teachings all around you.

Finally, the qualities you see in your teachers are merely reflections. I know that I've personally struggled with wanting to find a Teacher that I could establish a deep relationship with, but never really seeing anyone out there that I could trust. The thing is, what your teacher brings is a reflection of your own past actions an thoughts. The way to create a beautiful, trustable, knowledgable Master in your world is to act exactly the way you think they should. Soon you will, like me, start to see more and more people with good and high qualities appearing all around you.

Why else do you need to honour the Teacher? One of the ancient Tibetan qualities listed for a good teacher is that they know the correct order of the Teachings, and what practices to give for each individual's level.

Let's face it, if you are anything like me, when you try to just figure out a practice on your own, it can be very difficult. You are kind of piecing it together a step at a time, but you don't really have a firm vision of what the final goal is, or all the steps to get there. You need to find a master instructor, and follow him or her step by step. A master instructor should have either completed the goal themselves, or know the territory so well that they can give you all the tools and then launch you in the right direction.

When I have this kind of person or lineage in my world, I can settle into my practice. I can look to the living example and know where I'm headed. I can know that the side paths have been purged out of my practice, and all I truly need to do is just keep on progressing - and offering my practice in love.

Action steps:

1. write down a list of what, for you, are the qualities of the ultimate Teacher in your chosen practice path.

2. notice how many of those qualities you consciously, intentionally embody on a daily basis.

3. contemplate what the final goal of your chosen practice is - fitness? enlightenment? a certain skill level? Look to see if the progression from where you are now up to the final goal is well defined.

4. Look at the Teachers in your life and consider how you think of them. Are they people that you've paid and can use as you like? Or, because you've created them through your actions and thoughts, are they precious gifts to be respected for giving you what they can?

5. Decide in what ways you can practice that will honour your own teacher, as well as the lineage that your practice comes from. Even if it's just your personal trainer and you want to hone in your daily weight-lifting regime - consider this person as a master instructor, and offer them your diligent effort, then watch what happens!

Wrestling with the Maras, wrestling with Angels

In any great venture, there are often great forces that rise up to stand in the way. It is noted especially, that if you are going to accomplish some great good, things and people will seem to rise up out of no where to test your resolve. Some practitioners even feel that the greater good you are going to do, the scarier the things are that come to distract you.

In the story of the Buddha's enlightenment, the lord of illusion comes to test him by throwing fierce monsters and seductive women in his way. For the Conqueror though, these are hardly even a test.

When we have resolved to meditate, do yoga, work out, practice music, or whatever our practice is, we are actually doing a great service for all those around us. There are forces in the world that would rather that this amount of goodness never come about. These are often referred to as "Obstructive" forces in our meditation.

Many meditators can tell you that there are certain times when it comes time for you to get down to your practice, and a great tiredness will wash over you - or sometimes an emotion like anger, sadness, or desire. These feelings make it feel like meditation (yoga, dance, etc) would be the worst thing in the world to do. I have been very fortunate in my practice to have teachers that gave me practices which i was REQUIRED to complete everyday. The reason I found this so valuable is because I gained an insight that many meditators over the eons have recognized - that once you start your cultivation, those feelings of fatigue, anger, desire, etc, seem to vanish. It is as if something out there were testing you to see if you were really commited.

It wasn't until later in my studies that I learned that these feelings were believed, by some traditions, to actually be coming from external spiritual forces. Now, we may not be at the Buddha's level to warrant an actual physical manifestation of snarling demons and seductive demonesses, but it is sometimes palpable that something seems to be giving resistance to your chosen path.

What is very interesting here is the Buddhist view on where these things come from. Because in fact - although there appear to be these external forces, and in a very real sense they are there, and you have to deal with them - they are in reality arising from you. This is why in the story of the Buddha, he was ufazed by the attacks of the maras - and why in the story of Jesus, he went calmly to the cross. These Teachers knew where the obstructions were coming from - and the delusions that had allowed those things to be created in the past were so light by that point that they no longer played the game of fear and anger anymore. We can aspire to be like this.

When we learn where these things come from, we recognize a powerful truth. That many of these things that looked to us like demons were actually angels in disguise. This doesn't mean that we should go "oh, you're an Angel, I guess you know what's best for me - I'll sleep instead of getting up to do yoga". It means that we should recognize that we're being tested and act accordingly. We do not have to fear the anger that comes up, or the fatigue, or the circumstances of our lives - we just have to realize that these things are arising to be purified by the power of our practice. If we can carry on, hold our highest Goal in mind - all of these things will begin to look like our beloved Friend, pushing us onward to become just a little bit stronger and more sure.

Action items:
1. Identify your most common "maras" - obstructive forces. Emotional influences, other people, circumstances, time, etc.

2. Attempt one day to practice through the feelings or circumstances and notice what happens.

3. Imagine what it would be like to befriend these obstructive forces as training partners who are there to make you stronger.