The 8 Principles of Yogic Relationship

This week's blog is inspired by a talk that my fiancee and I gave last night on partnership as a spiritual practice.

It is inspired in part because some technical difficulties sort-of threw me off my flow and I didn't get to quite say everything I had hoped to - so i thought I'd give the attendees a little re-cap, and people who weren't there a brief intro to some of the ideas.

Here are 8 principles of Yogic Relationship

1. Yoga means union!
In a sense, "yogic relationship" is redundant, as it's like saying "union union".  Yoga comes from an old word meaning "yoke", like to tie together or unite.  It has come to mean union with God, or union with Ultimate Reality.
I think that "yogic relationship" means two things:
1. that we can use yogic principles to come to a more harmonious union with our chosen partner, and
2. that we can use the interaction with our chosen partner to create the conditions for Union/Yoga with the Divine.

2. You are three bodies in one.
Most of the ancient religious traditions in the world recognize the principle of the sacred Three.  In Christianity it's the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; in Buddhism it's the Dharmakaya, Nirmanakaya, and Sambhogakaya.  For a basic modern terminology, we can say that these are the gross body you can touch, the subtle body you can feel, and the causal body that is behind the scenes of other two.

While our relationships are played out through our physical bodies, and the whole movie is thrown by our causal body (more on that in our class on the 21st!), it is the subtle body where all the wonder and horror that is called "love" takes place!

3. Sexual energy is an experience of the Subtle Body.
When we are aroused by another, we have a capacity to deeply feel the movement of subtle energy within!  It swirls about whenever we think about our beloved.  It can keep us awake until 4 am while we are in the infatuation stage of a new relationship.

The ancient yogis recognized this and developed a science of the sexual energy in particular.  They found this to be important because they realized that sexual energy is both powerful and sticky

Powerful
Sexual energy is the force that will grow a whole new living being under the right conditions.  I think we feel this every time we fall in love!  If applied appropriately, this power can be directed within us to skyrocket our spiritual growth, or the capacity for love in our relationship.  If used ignorantly or inappropriately, though, this same energy can leave us feeling drained and depleted.
One aspect of a "yogic relationship" is understanding how to leverage this energy so that it sustainably provides a powerful experience.

Sticky
Sex is a sticky affair - as many people are already aware!  What I mean here though is that sex is a realm that is often full of shadow for most of us.  We are kind of blindly stumbling through and hoping that something will work out someday - all the while not being fully aware of the forces playing out below the surface.

Because of these two aspects to the sexual energy, it is felt that it is of extreme importance to learn the language of this realm - whether you are in relationship or not - because this energy is a great source of both power and drama for most beings.  Through the practice of yogic relationship we are learning to refine this force so that we may use it to powerful ends.

4. Orgasm is an experience of "dissolution"
Dissolution is a translation of the Sanskrit term "Laya".  Laya often refers to the practice of "Kundalini" yoga - or making the energy come to the center, rise up, and stay.
The ancient yogis described a channel of energy in the center of the body called the Sushumna Nadi - which roughly means "channel of the really good music".  It is said that when some of the energy in the body gets into this channel, you feel "centered".  Specifically, energy flowing in this channel helps one to feel especially kind, and to have a mind which is focused and sees to the truth of things.  The yogis say that if you get all the energy (prana) into this channel, you will have an experience of Ultimate Reality, or seeing God directly.
There are also channels in the body that run on the right and left.  When energy runs to the right, we feel angry or aggressive, and when it runs to the left, we feel incomplete and desirous.

There are a few natural times when the energy goes into the central channel all on its own - and one of these is the moment of Orgasm.  When you orgasm, there is a tiny taste of the deep bliss that comes with awareness of Reality.  The only problem is that if we are not holding our mind in a state of Love, Reverence, or Wisdom, this experience goes away very quickly, and we can actually feel worse than before (as the prana flows back into the side channels).

Yoga proposes that we can learn to move the prana into the center at will - there's actually a phenomenon that has come to be known as "yogasm" or the experience of orgasmic bliss simply through performing yoga postures.  This can show us that what is causing the experience is a movement of subtle energies.  Yoga also proposes that if you hold the right mind state and awareness of energy at the moment of orgasm, you can actually make deep changes in your energy body that last - causing some of the energy from the channels of anger and desire to "dissolve" into the center.

The other meaning of the term dissolution, as we are using it here, is that when individuals come to orgasm together, their energy bodies enter a type of fusion.  If each partner is actively cultivating their energy body, this can rapidly expidite the process of inner growth!

Brahmacharya
These last two principles of sexual energy highlight the yogic concept of Brahmacharya - which means "acting in accord with (charya) the Creative Divine force (Brahma)".  Because the sexual energy is so powerful, we need to learn when and how to use it.  And also because we are merging with another, we need to discriminate carefully about whom we share intimacy with.  Brahmacharya has come to imply celibacy, but it can also refer to different types of marriage or commitment, and different ways of working with the creative energy of sexuality.

5. Sexual energy comes in two main flavors

The sexual energy in beings comes in the forms of masculine and feminine.  Each of us tends to have more of one flavor than the other, and most of us find that we have a masculine or feminine essence.  Your sex does not determine your sexual essence - though your hormonal profile plays a big part in its expression.

These two energies are deeply encoded in us from ancient human pre-history.  The women of the tribe had the equipment to bear and nurse children, and so did tasks in which children could be involved - gathering, weaving, mending, nursing, cooking, etc.  The men were left with the tasks where a small child could not be included - mainly hunting and protection.
These ancient roots have left traces in our brains and bodies that can make it hard to relate at times.  Men are often programmed to be directive, goal oriented, and concerned with freedom and silence.  Women, on the other hand are often hard wired to seek connection, be process oriented, and are concerned with radiance, and love.

We each will slip into one of these modes when we are embodying more of the masculine, or more of the feminine in any moment.

Although we can each be any of these energies, one or the other will feel like "home" to you - and it is when you are able to rest in this energy, that you will feel most powerful, loving, delicious, and sexy.  I feel my best when I am "on-purpose", accomplishing tasks, standing my ground, expressing freedom or protection, and loving the world from a place of deep silence.  My partner, on the other hand, is most fed by giving love to others, feeling like her personal radiance and life-force is a gift, when she feels "in the flow", and is loving the world from a feeling of communion.

If we know our own sexual essence and that of our partner, we have the tools to make our relationship full of vitality.  If I want my partner to feel sexy, i help her rest into her feminine - and it just so happens that I do that by embodying my masculine.  If i come to her with an energy of deep silence, presence, and purpose, it is easy for her to relax into her innate nature of radiant love.  Similarly, if she comes to me with a sense of flow, communion, and a commitment to giving love - i begin to feel more free and silent.

The vitality that ensues is an awakening of the subtle body, and any time the sexual energy is aroused in this way, we have an opportunity for dissolution and spiritual evolution.

[note: in same sex partnerships, one partner will assume the more feminine or the more masculine role and the energetics are the same as above.  In a similar principle, in heterosexual or same-sex couplings, if the energies become too "neutralized" (both partners equally running masculine and feminine current), the quality of "sexiness" can be lost.]

6. The Masculine and Feminine exist at varying levels of development
The counter-point to the above is to understand that there are many ways of expressing the masculine and the feminine.  It's not just every manly man who can stimulate a feminine-essence person to spiritual evolution.  Some manly-men are just jerks.  Similarly, some of the most feminine people in the world are just self-concerned divas and are unworthy objects for the masculine's deep presence in many cases.

These two currents arise and go through various stages of evolution.  That can be thought of generally as:

Selfishness
Safety
Actual Love

Selfishness is just that - you want your needs met.  Often, we can be attracted to people of somewhat low development because the energy is simply so strong - they are running a very masculine purpose, for example, and looking very driven, successful, and present - but then you find out they are quite self-concerned and shallow.  Maybe they are even mean.  The feminine is attractive when she is full of life-force, but a selfish expression of this can manifest as emotional neediness or excessive self-concern.

The second level of development is kind of a 50/50 deal.  One begins to understand that there are actually other people in the world who have needs too.  There starts to arise a genuine care for them - but there is still some concern with feeling safe and that one's needs are getting met.  It's kind of a bargaining relationship.  This level of partnership is one where you have to take turns paying for dinner when you go out - it's certainly fair, just not very sexy or vitalizing.  These partners will feel safe, and people might get into a relationship with them at a time when they feel like they need an extra amount of care or healing.  When the healing is complete, the interest in relationship often dries up.

The third level is actually the only one that we are really concerned with in a yogic partnership - actual Love.  This level means that you realize that what you are has been Love all along.  Because of this, you actually feel free from getting your needs met through relationship.  These are often people who have experienced the type of orgasm that can happen in yoga or meditation.  They often feel like they don't need a relationship to be happy.  but they recognize that through relationship, they can be a fuller expression of love!

7. You can be For-Giving, or you can be For-Getting
What we can see from these stages is that you can come to relationship from one of two angles - you can be there to get something, or you can be there to give something.

The yogis tell us that what we actually are at our cores is pure bliss and love.  If one can experience this, there's nothing a relationship can give you.  There's only the choice of "how can i walk in this world which expresses most fully the love that i AM?".

This has two implications:
1. Your sustainable happiness in relationship is all a result of being there for-giving, and the drama you experience in your relationship is all a result of your being there for-getting.  Think about it - if you were rested in the deep silent bliss that you are, could anything your partner does upset you?  You would simply ask yourself "What do they need from me right now?" - love might take the form of fury, or pity, trust, or empathy.  Love has no bounds to its expression.
2. If you are evaluating a potential mate, their attractiveness to you, and the level that you trust them will be a result of how well paired you are in terms of for-giving, and for-getting.
If you are mostly selfish, you will probably be attracted to mates that are mostly selfish - in the opposite sexual polarity.  If you are ready to give some, but still want to get your needs met, you'll attract a mate who is also working on the 50/50 level.  If you are ready to give love without limits, you will be most drawn to others that are resting in their deep inner nature as well.

The Tibetan yogis have a saying: "if you plant corn, you also get hay" - meaning, the grass will grow up around your crops without you having to do anything special.  The open secret here is that if you come to your relationships solely to express the love you are by serving another - it is the one certain way to secure your own happiness!

8. Yogic Relationship is a Union of the Masculine and Feminine forces.
The classical tradition of moving the inner energy toward states of bliss and wisdom is called Hatha Yoga - this means "the union of the solar and lunar".  Different schools talk about bringing the energies of the upper body and lower body together, or dissolving the right (solar) and left (lunar) side channels into the sushumna (central channel).  All of these are ways to bring the masculine and feminine currents together within oneself.
Through partnered practice, we are making an outward, symbolic representation of this process.  The amazing thing is that this practice on the outside makes spectacular changes in the inner world.  In certain schools, it is said that there is no higher yoga than the union of spiritual partners.
When the masculine and feminine currents are aroused to their highest vitality in their highest level of development, they can be brought into a fusion of extreme power/bliss, and love.  This results in a new consciousness (or maybe it was there all along) that is beyond these opposites, and is the fullness of love that we all crave.
It was in us all along, the yogis say, but we don't recognize it, nor can we even hope to bring it forward.  There is hope, though, in that we can learn to recognize the Divine in our beloved - and that by worshipping that One, by serving that One, and by entering into even bodily passion fused with deep Love, we can birth that One in our selves -  Becoming the vision of Light that we were always meant to be!


If you'd like more information on attending the courses on Yogic Relationship I'm teaching with my Beloved this month, you can register at www.worldsyoga.com for the live class, or at http://www.cvent.com/d/zcqs4z  to download online through the Yoga Studies Institute!

The Myth of Mastery

During a conversation with a friend the other day, we ran across a topic which i know is familiar to many yoga practitioners and teachers.  I'll call it the 'Myth of Mastery'.

For a teacher, it goes something like this:
"What the hell am I doing trying to teach this stuff - I'm not ENLIGHTENED!  I can't even meditate in [choose your favorite difficult posture]!"

Some of us will even use this negative self talk to sabotage the avenues in our lives where we might be of service to others - because we are not "masters" yet - whatever that means.

For the student, this often occurs when we are thinking of trying something new.  Many people never make it through the door for yoga or meditation class because they are afraid simply to be beginners.

For myself, it can be easy sometimes to lose faith.  I think that perhaps it is because I see how high the bar has been set, and sometimes I despair of getting there.  I know of some yogis how feel just fine, perfectly comfortable in their practice - and I rejoice for them.  But I wonder, if you are perfectly comfortable in your practice, are you really growing into the places that you need it the most?

Many of us who come to yoga, kung fu, or the like, have an innate strength or calling toward the kinesthetic  body-based activity and growth.  Others of us, who gravitate toward meditation have an innate spiritual sense.  Your strong suit is not really what I am speaking to in this article, i am speaking to your weak link.

If you are sensitive, you'll know right where your weak link is.  Many yogis i know could answer you in a split-second if you asked them what the weakest spot is in their practice.  What an amazing self-knowledge to hold.

If you've never done the work, however, you won't know what I'm talking about, because your weak link is just that thing that you avoid.  It's something we avoid before we even think about it - as if part of the mind has pre-decided "that's not me".

It seems to me that the Myth of Mastery can rear its head in two ways.  One is that we begin to actually think we've become a master.  I think this can mean that we've settled into the places we feel strong to the exclusion of those in which we feel weaker.  I hold a "Master's" certification in Qigong, but it doesn't mean I've stopped learning.  The moment I think I know everything there is to know about something is the moment my knowledge starts getting stagnant.  The greatest spiritual sages have never made high claims about their own "mastery" - they simply went about loving their world, living balanced lives.  I think our own practices can flow this way if we let them.

 The second way it strikes is the recurring thought that tells us to "quit now", because mastery is so far away.  This can come up if your meditation is a little to thought-full for a few days, or your yoga practice doesn't seem to be changing.  Rather than see these as signs that something is wrong, we can learn to look at them as signs that we are growing!

I'm making it a practice to go looking for the places where I let this myth stop me from serving others, and stop me from growing myself.  It means tuning in to that place that feels wobbly or nervous, and learning to just be with that feeling - understanding that it means I'm learning something new!

Grace

Every so often, in yoga or in life, we get a glimpse of something bigger.  I remember when I was first learning the art of Tai Chi I had an extremely memorable practice session that influenced my practice for years to come.  As I carried out my form, i was somehow finally able to just let go and sort of "drop-in".  As I did this, I began to have the vivid experience of everything - the world around me, the movement of my hands, my breathing - being BEAUTIFUL.  It's hard to describe, but it felt a little like some of my friend's descriptions of good drug trips (sadly - or maybe fortunately - my own drug experiences were never that cool).

This experience, like many that were to follow, became a sort of landmarks that I could source back to when I practiced - and occasionally, i was able to "drop in" to that space again.  Ken Wilber describes this as the relationship of "States and Stages" - meaning that we can get into certain altered states sort of by accident of consciousness, and then eventually learn to create them at will until we reach a certain stage of development.  We can use the gifts that come to us in yoga or any other practice to help us learn to live in that expanded sphere at all times.

The question that really interests me though is this:  Are the moments of Grace truly "accidental", or is there something deeper going on?

Many people have had the experience of Grace come to them in the form of an insight.  Perhaps it is at the end of a great yoga practice, or during meditation.  You're just sitting there and it's like a little bubble pops and all the answers you needed flood into your awareness.  It seems to me that if there was a way to reproduce this experience consistently, we could create a great deal of happiness in our own lives and the lives of others.

Fortunately, as usual, the ancient yogis offer us a possible explanation.  Master Patanjali, in the Yoga Sutra, explains how the world we see is actually projected, or activated by deep habitual tendencies in our minds (Samkaras).  These mental tendencies are created out of our karma - or the force of habit from our actions or thoughts.

Why should this concern us?  Simply this: if we gain the habits of consciousness it takes to experience Grace, then we can experience it more and more regularly.

How then do we go about getting the mind to have this habit?  In my experience, the answer is two-fold.  In both halves of the answer, the main principle is something like "acting as if it were already so" or, as Gandhi says "Be the change that you want to see in the  [inner and outer] world".

The first way we do this is outwardly.  We learn to act toward ourselves and others as if our lives were already informed by Grace on a deep level.  This has been laid out in ancient times as the Yamas and Niyamas of Yoga.  A person informed by grace would refrain from harming others (ahimsa), refrain from stealing (astreya), refrain from sexual misconduct (brahmacharya) and the like.  They would also cultivate cleanliness (saucha), feel content (santosha), live with a sense of devotion (Isvarapranidana), etc.

If you want more Grace in your yoga, you have to do more than just think the Yamas and Niyamas are cool (although that's a great start!).  You have to make a plan to actively make this a reality in your life - especially in your interactions with others.  Go out and decide every day to not only avoid harm but to do at least 3 things that ACTIVELY HELP someone in need.  Decide not only to manifest grace by respecting the relationships of others, but do something to DEEPLY HONOUR your own intimate partner (or help someone else do it if you are not in a relationship.  Find your own ways to make each of the Yamas and Niyamas a dynamic and dramatic refuge in each day.  Done with vigor and excitement, the active practice of these yogic principles brings a massive flood of Grace into one's practice very quickly.

The other half of the story is what to do inwardly.  I see this as the other 6 limbs of yoga.  The practice of inner yoga was designed to completely alter your inner world to make more love and happiness possible.  When master Patanjali describes asana as "steady and easy" - it can mean that if we want Grace to flow, we should set up our body as if it were already there.  Enter your yoga poses like a god or goddess - and even make the dinner like a King or Queen performing a special gift of kindness.

Pranayama means to un-restrict the inner energy and breath.  What would it be like to breathe from a deep sense of peace and insight - like the sense you have felt if you've ever experienced Grace in your practice?

The remaining limbs relate to one's mind - here is where our yoga practice can become truly productive of deep peace.  When we realize that Grace comes not by accident, but by deeper causes than we ever thought, we can let go of much of the worry and striving that the mind habitually clings to.

In the ancient texts, this is referred to by describing how ignorance is the root of craving and aversion.  If we can cut the root of ignorance - in this case, thinking we can get to Grace by becoming busier or worrying more - then we can drop off a great deal of needless mental anguish.

The mind of a person inhabiting Grace is one that is still and quiet.  The thoughts are clear and directive - but one cannot easily tell whether one is "thinking" them, or "receiving" them from some source of wisdom.  This being simply carries out the causes of Grace - being the change they wish to see - and rests deeply in the beautiful appearance which unfolds.

why we call it "practice"

A Buddhist teacher I studied with once related this story:

She was standing outside the meditation center and someone came passing by.  "What is this place?" he asked.  "A meditation center." she replied.  "And what do you do in there?" he asked.  "We practice meditation."  "Well," he said, "i hope you get it right someday!"

She told this story as an illustration of how we can get caught up in the idea of "practicing" something like meditation.  We tend to think that "practice" is just something you do to rehearse for something else.

Is it possible to have a "practice" that isn't just a preparation?  Could we cultivate a meditation that felt amazing to do, and was an end in itself, but prepared us for bigger and better things to come?

There is a beautiful Sanskrit word - "Paramita".  A Paramita, in the Buddhist yogic traditions, can be the action of a perfect being, or the action of one who aspires toward perfection - there is no contradiction.

Litearlly, paramita means "to go across".  In one sense, it refers to a being who has crossed the ocean of suffering - and so it means a "Perfect Action".  In the other sense, though, it is this kind of action that makes you perfect - they take you across, from here to there.

There's a long argument amongst yogis - some say that things are already perfect, and we just have to realize it and act accordingly.  Others claim that things are by no means perfect and we have to act in a way that can make things better.  I personally see evidence of both views, and so I find my yoga practice infused with each.

Some days, my practice feels like the expression of divine light molded into completely auspicious mudras, in a world unfolding exactly as it should - according to sacred timing.

Other days, my mind is a sea of painful emotions, and I turn to my practice as a refuge (for at least a few moments, please!) - because I know how it can act to dissolve the painful feelings.

In one sense, I'm "practicing" as a doctor "practices medicine" - i'm DOING it, i'm acting out actual yoga.  In the other sense, I'm "practicing" as one might practice for a piano recital - i go through the motions and work my way toward being able to do it right, on command.

The most amazing thing about the second kind of practice is that it only takes a little bit of it to make vast alterations in the structure of your mind.

The Tibetan word for meditation means roughly "to habituate" - and many of the Tibetan meditations are simply this - practicing some state of mind or some new idea to get the mind used to it.

The wonder of meditation, though, is that by putting the mind into an expanded and relaxed state, this process of habituation happens much more readily than normal.  This, to me, is the true power of practice.

What we are doing every time we get on the yoga mat or meditation cushion is setting up a ripple of effects through our body and mind that will have long lasting results.  It's like eating breakfast.  You don't have to keep eating every moment of the day to have energy, you eat a meal, and then by some magical process, your body lives for hours and hours.  It is the same with practice.  We sit, or perform asana, and some change takes place that continues changing us until we come to sit again.

The cliche says that "practice makes perfect", and with yoga this may actually be true.  If we want to move the mind or body toward a state of greater health or integration, the good news is that we only have to take baby steps.  We don't have to have it all accomplished already.  We can practice - a little bit at a time until we begin to see our practice in everything we do.  Sweeping the floor becomes asana. Helping your parents becomes meditation.  As the old kung fu masters taught - we come to "practice 24 hours a day".

At this point we have to wonder, are we trying to "get somewhere"?  We're certainly not just resting on our laurels - but at the same time, everywhere we could possibly go is exactly what we are looking for another opportunity to "practice".

perhaps we call it "practice" because it's the only word that can really withstand this paradox.  A preparation for something that's already arrived.  A perfection that only exists as long as it is aspiring.

Finally, we must recognize that we are already practicing 24 hours per day - we just may not be practicing the things we want to see in our worlds.  The time has come to "practice what you preach" - let the power of your yoga bring about the world of your dreams!

attachment and aversion

When was your best meditation?  Have you ever had an amazing spiritual experience, or even just deep relaxation after a yoga practice?

What I have noticed is that for me, my best and most interesting experiences come when I am very relaxed and "open".

This relates to ones regular practice in a number of ways.  In terms of the cultivation of asana, master Patanjali recommends that we become "steady and comfortable".

How amazing is this, that our yoga practice doesn't have to be a struggle?!  Of course, we could go too far in the other direction - all the way into thinking that there's no path whatsoever and just get lazy.  I don't think that this is what master Patanjali means, because in his classic text, there are many pairs of things to cultivate to keep us in balance - for instance Tapas (intense effort and austerity) should be balanced with Santosha (contentment with exactly where you are), Abhyasa (dedicated commitment to practice) should be tempered with Vairagya (relaxed, dispasionate non-attachment).

In this way, we can work toward a balance in our yoga practice - of working hard, but still being able to have fun with it.  Of relaxing, but not becoming a total sloth.

I think though, perhaps, that there is an even deeper level available here than even just "living in a balanced way".  The ancient texts speak of amazing realizations that can come upon one who follows the path of Yoga.  The only problem is that for many, it seems that the harder they try to reach these vast attainments, the further away they get.

In the classical yoga, it is said that in the center of your body is a spiritual spine, called the Sushumna Nadi.  When energy flows in this channel is when we have these sort of high states of awareness.  Many methods were known to the ancient yogis to facilitate energy to enter this central spine - they knew that you could induce altered states through sex, breathing exercises, sensory deprivation, fasting, and even drugs.  There's just one problem with these methods (as many modern practitioners can attest): They wear off.  The path of yoga was designed around the idea that perhaps there is a way to bring the prana into this spiritual column, and get it to stay there - producing a lasting feeling of meaning, beauty, and love that doesn't wear off.

If you've had one of these interesting spiritual states, you may have recognized that it's hard to locate your "self" during the period that it endures.  What makes these states so blissful - while you're in them, is that for a moment you stop being so "self-conscious".

What is so wrong with the "self"?  Nothing really - the only problem is that when I think "me", the energy of my body and mind contract, and I experience a small someone who is cut of from the grandness that is available.  The ancient yogis described this as a kind of choking off of that central channel.

The "grasping to a self" that we're talking about comes in two main forms - called Raga and Dvesha, or attachment and aversion.  Now, the goal of yoga is not to sort of "numb out", so attachment and aversion must mean something other than just "not caring very much either way".

In my own experience, these currents are basically just the energies of trying hard to make things different than they are.

What are we doing when we are trying to make things different than they are?   We are contracting ourselves.  We are either shrinking away from something, or trying to go and get something, but in either case, we are moving away from the place where the magic can happen - which is right here and now.

When one can truly relax into what's going on here and now - a strange thing happens - one doesn't become lazy, like "there's nothing at all to do because everything is fine so I'll just watch TV", instead, one often becomes filled with a sense of lightness, love, and luminosity.

Simply because one has softened the habitual need for things to be some other way, one has come into contact with the power to actually change things.  This is the power of centeredness, the power of being simultaneously empty, yet full of potential.

Inspired by my recent vacation, my intention for my own yoga practice has become simply this:  To stop trying so hard to slow down or speed up.  To stop trying entirely.  To rest into my yoga - even into the intensity of it, and move always from the center.

Back to the Breath

I practice a very "fancy" style of yoga :)

By this I mean that there is a lot to do in the practice.

Sometimes we are doing a Tibetan practice called Tong Len - which involves giving away specific qualities to another person - while we are taking different asanas.

Other times the physical postures are paired with deep introspective meditation on certain topics.

I was drawn to this particular style because I had, for years, practiced a version of yoga and meditation that was much more simple and pared down - "just experience whatever you're experiencing, just return to the breath."

Doing this style of practice opened me up to deep levels of relaxation and the insight that can arise from letting go of having to mentate and conceptualize everything in minute detail.

But then at some point it just wasn't enough.  This doesn't mean I was "bored" - we're supposed to watch out for that in our tradition of practice - it just meant that my intuition said something that should be there (for me) was missing.

Conveniently (as such things tend to happen), a whole new stream of Teachings arrived in my life that started to put the missing pieces into my yoga practice.  Things have really started to speed up and get very interesting for the last few years.

Last week, in my Teacher's friday morning class, I noticed a lot of emotional discomfort seeming to arise from my body.  It was a struggle to keep up with the Mantras that we were toning, and the intentions we were sending forth to the world.  Don't get me wrong, i felt the value of those practices - i just couldn't DO them!

So there i was, mired under a feeling that I was doing my yoga somehow "wrong" - and I remembered... from somewhere back in the past... some tool I had for just this occasion.

And then it hit me - "come back to your breath - be with whatever is arising for you".  So I settled in on the sound of my Ujayii breathing and all of a sudden, things became spacious.

This is not to say that everything in my whole world suddenly became peachy-keen.....  because if I slipped out of that mindfulness, i was in a state of deep (yoga induced!),  emotional distress.  But what did happen is that I moved from a place of powerlessness into a place of power.  What Eckhart Tolle calls "the power of now".

I had gotten lost into some picture of how my yoga was supposed to look and feel and it took the distress and magnified it all out of proportion.  When I was able to settle into the moment and simply be with what was happening, the distress was still there, but i wasn't adding more stress on top of it.

Our tradition does not hold that "everything will just work itself out - so relax" - in fact, the ancient masters of yoga have taught that everything can work itself out, but it takes deep participation and enthusiasm from the practitioner.  At the same time though, if we get stressed out - we are no longer actually practicing yoga - we are practicing stress.

The Yoga Sutras mention that we must balance out Abhyasa - intensive efffort, with Vairagya - dispassionate letting go of results.

For me, i found a balance in my own practice by doing the work - keeping up the postures, toning the chants, visualizing the meditation objects - and then just getting real with what was going on with me.  Not wishing to be somewhere else.  Oddly, the moment i stopped wishing for things to be different was the moment they started to change.

The Five Bodies

Many of us get locked up into the idea that we are practicing our Yoga with just one body.

For some, this is the physical body - you know, yoga, downward dog, plank, all the good stuff.

For others of us, this is the mental body - the "real" yoga, of cultivating the mind.

And for others, this is working with a spiritual body - where both the body and mind are dropped.

Each of these types of individual is doing real yoga, and each gets variable results.  The ones who seem to get the BEST results, though, are the ones who work with all the bodies - even some bodies that may not be familiar.

In the classics of yoga, generally 5 bodies are mentioned.  They are called Koshas which means "sheaths".  They are the physical body, the energy body, the thinking mind/emotions, the deep consciousness, and what is sometimes called the "Bliss body".  These bodies all work together and each one has a yoga that can effect it.

First is the physical body - which is actually called the "food body" in the ancient texts.  This name means, "that which nourishes the body" - food, breath, hope, sleep, subtle energies, etc. - and the solid substance that is made from it.  This body is nourished by doing physical yoga postures, eating well, getting enough sleep, and maybe having a massage on a regular basis.

The next level down is called the energy body or Prana body.  This is the realm in which your acupuncture meridians run carrying Prana or Chi - the subtle energy.  It is this body that gives you a good or bad feeling about a situation or person, gives chills up your spine when you're inspired, and can manifest in such subtle concepts as "groundedness" and the like.  This body is nourished largely by the breathing exercises of yoga, subtle energy techniques like qigong and visualization, and therapies like medical qigong, marma point massage,  or acupuncture.

Next comes the level of thoughts - this means the inner speech of the mind.  Our words and our interpretations of or projections on reality.  This level of the mind is accessed through analytical and contemplative meditations, debate, and svadyaya - the study of self or essence.

The most subtle levels are next, and these may not be familiar to everyone.  The first is called the Vijnana maya kosa - which means something like 'wisdom appearance sheath'.  This is a deeper aspect of the mind - it can be thought of like the unconscious.  In some yoga traditions this refers to your karma.  Here we can think of it like mental habits.  A story about the Dalai Lama says that when asked what it is that reincarnates, he said "your bad habits".  These are the deep unconscious motivators that often propel our actions and thoughts from under the level of awareness.  We can affect this level through things like Karma-yoga, prayer, and purification practices.

Finally comes the deepest level, called the Ananda maya kosha - or the sheath of bliss.  This is the deepest level.  It is, in fact, not really a sheath at all - it's like what you get to at the middle if you peel all the layers off of an onion - nothing.  What's the connection between nothingness and bliss?  Simply this - at your deepest core, you are nothing but pure potential.  That means you could be anything at all - if you had the right causes and conditions assembled.  The sheer fact of this possibility (which is very close at hand if you are in a human body) is something very inspiring and joy producing!  And the path of yoga has as its sole purpose, the creation of the causes of bliss.  The anandamayakosha is affected by practices which attune you to space or emptiness -  like deep, single pointed meditation.

Now that we've seen all the various sheaths, we may notice that our own personal practice leans more heavily on some than on others.  Some of us love to rest in "emptiness", but forget to work on our karma.  Others of us love to work on our physical bodies, but assume that we are not cognitively inclined.

The fact is, though, that you can never just work on one level, because they all ripple through to each other.  Just think about the last time that you had a strong emotion (prana/mind level), you probably felt the ramifications in your physical body (elevated heart rate, tightening or relaxing of the muscles, etc).  What you may not have noticed is that strong emotions also create "karmas" or habit patterns in the deep unconscious mind.  Similarly, not getting enough sleep (physical level) can obstruct the ability to think clearly or handle one's emotions.

The wisdom of the ancient yogis, which is now being confirmed by numerous studies, is this - if you train more than one body at a time, you magnify your benefits on all the bodies.  Things like weight-lifting are being shown to actually make people more able to learn intellectual subjects like mathematics.  Meditation practice lowers your risk for heart-disease.  Learning to process your emotions can get rid of your back pain.  Hatha Yoga helps decrease disturbing emotions like anxiety.

If we want to get the most out of our developmental practices, we should take a look at the bodies that maybe aren't being addressed.  Do you find the time to do your physical yoga work out, but not to learn something new each week?  Try solving some puzzles or taking a community college course and see if your meditation doesn't deepen.

If you've been attempting to change your karma to solve a recurring emotional issue - try teaming that up with learning non-violent communication.  You can even supercharge the whole process by keeping a still, single-pointed mind through both your karma-yoga, and your communication training.

I believe that the ancient yogis never envisioned a true practitioner as someone who was only spiritually developed, or could simply get themselves into strange, contorted postures, but was someone who had integrated the best of each level of being.

What is your highest vision of integration of the five realms of your being?  What would your practice look like?  What might it be to have the "ananda" - bliss - of the deepest layer permeate throughout your life?  What might take place in the 6th, outermost layer of your being - which is the world you inhabit?  Envision it with me, it might just be magical!

Sometimes the End justifies the means

I've been feeling dissatisfied lately.

It's not hard for me to notice this feeling because somehow, magically, yoga has left me feeling mostly satisfied (santosha) with life on a regular basis.

Looking at my mind, i began to wonder - "what is it that I'm so dissatisfied with?"

I imagine that any of us could come up with various answers to this question if we allowed ourselves to.

In my case, though, i found that my inner process was all about where i wanted to be versus where I am.

Looking at my life without the lens of dissatisfaction I am actually very joyful about the world I inhabit, and the things I get to offer to that world on a daily basis.  Why then have I been feeling so disjointed?

I realized, upon reflection, that some myth had wormed its way into my unconscious.  I think I picked it up from certain parts of the 'new age' thought world, but I'm not sure.  The myth is that if you have some kind of Vision, or a sense of Purpose, or a goal about where you would like your life to be, then you should be living that RIGHT NOW - or something is wrong with your life.

Looked at with eyes of discernment, it is easy to see how this is just another way of disrespecting oneself and actually avoiding the power available in the present moment - but it cloaks itself in the language of the present moment in a very tricky way.

If allowed to carry on too long, we can get caught up in a cycle of grandiose dreams, and ineffective actions that don't take the present moment circumstance into account.

An easy out is just to say that these "visions" or dreams are not valid or important.  This seems to be the track that a large portion of our culture takes.  Simply go back to work, because dreaming about being something more just makes one uncomfortable.

Another way to go is to just become a dreamer - to truly believe that your life is something more, and wonder when it's going to 'manifest' itself for you.

All of these options have been running through my consciousness as I contemplate my own visions and dreams in light of the feeling of lack that has inhabited my body.

Perhaps a reasonable answer is what is sometimes called the "bridge plan".  This kind of plan is exactly what it sounds like.  The way you get from "here" to "there".  What is wonderful about this type of thinking is that it allows one to rest into the feeling of taking concrete steps toward the manifestation of his or her desires.  It doesn't have to be a choice between wondering why your full vision hasn't magically shown up all on it's own - or just going back to the 9-5 and settling for something that feels safe.

And in my own life, resting in the bridge brings santosha - yogic contentment.  If we want to be totally honest, there's no phase that isn't a bridge plan - because the moment we reach some goal, it usually forms the foundation for the next inspiration.

We can apply this to our yoga asana practice, our meditation, or any aspect of our lives.  Yoga requires us to hold a balance between contentment - Santosha, and Tapas - hard work.  Master Patanjali says that the poses should be both steady and pleasant.  We can only gauge where this balance is if we are resting in this present moment.  If you are not in your yoga practice today, but thinking all about what's wrong with it compared to some ideal - you've disempowered your ability to do a truly powerful practice.  If you can't tune your mind into the reality of your breath, or your chosen object of focus because you are too busy thinking about the future, you won't be able to reach the deeper levels of meditation that are coming.

Ultimately, we could say that the past and the future are completely empty of existing as solid things - they depend upon each other for definition.  We can also say the same about the present moment.  Can you find a "present moment" that isn't nestled firmly between the past and future?  Because these things define each other, we can say that they are not solidly "real" the way we tend to think of them - as self-existent.  But, it gives us a way to empower our practice of yoga, meditation, or life's vision.  We can abide here in the present as the crux of power which is informed by the past, and which creates your future.  In this way - on the perpetual bridge, we can learn to relax into love of what IS, and look hopefully toward what is BECOMING.

In this way, for me, the end really does justify the means.  I don't have to get on my mat and BE  a yoga master today.  I can do the practice that makes me a yoga master, and feel good about that.  I don't have to despair of a future that is always "out there" because the journey to that future is right under my foot. Seen in this way, even outrageous goals - like helping every living being to be happy - are actually already present with you, as seeds that can be tended.