In the last blog I spoke about a topic which feels very important to me at this time - setting realistic goals in terms of our personal, spiritual practice.
It's been on my mind because I've been privy to a number of stories of hardcore practitioners who have "burned out" on their spirituality by pushing too hard. The effects can actually be quite devastating - people have ruined relationships, jobs, or their health, by aspiring to mythic heights, while having only ordinary resources.
So I've felt that we need to get a little more scientific than mythic in modern practice. We need to not only take the shoulds of the religions and sects that have handed down meditative practices to us, we also need to test out the proposals, and do what works, and what is safe.
There is another danger, though, in not having realistic models of practice. Some of us set our sights too high, but others of us set them too low.
One reaction to the hyperbole used to extol the practitioners of old is that some of us will say, "well, that's just not me, so why should I buy into any of this?" We either don't believe in some versions of "enlightenment" that are being sold in the old traditions, or we don't believe we will ever reach them, and so we fail to gain some of the riches that are hidden in the traditions which are right at our fingertips. [If that's not you... refer to the previous blog!]
It is a sad state of affairs: Buddhism, Christianity, Daoism, and the like spend a lot of time speaking of extremely rarified states of purity, but very little about the moderate and beautiful changes an ordinary person can reach in her own life. It's like we may look at those teachings and say - "nope, that's not talking about me." and we keep on looking for something else. Or we say "I'll never make it to those goals, so what's the point?"
There's a beautiful quote that says something like, "Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you'll land in the stars." But I think in this case, we believe we won't hit the moon, and so we don't take aim at all. I think it might not make a great quote to put on a pretty picture, but we need to start saying "Aim for a target that's not too far away, and even if you miss, you will get closer the more you practice!"
So, the main way we set our sights too low is that we don't practice at all. And I think there's an easy antidote. We have to get ourselves stoked about all the powerful benefits we could gain by just 5 or 10 minutes of consistent meditation (or walking, or yoga, or tai chi, or whatever). Because, you see, with just these few minutes per day people have increased their level of emotional comfort, stability, helped heart problems, reduced the experience of chronic pain, gained spiritual insight, and more.
When we put it that way, powerful effects seem very approachable. It's very different than saying "if you meditate for 4 hours per day for 20 years, you might see some amazing brain changes!" because only a few people feel that goal is anywhere near in reach. But if you knew that with 5 or so minutes of meditation in the morning and evening, you might have the presence of mind to speak more kindly to your partner or your kids - would you make that investment? If you thought about how that might steadily transform your relationships or your health in the years to come, would that start to seem worthwhile?
It's such a small requirement that can bring so many rich rewards. Setting your sights too low doesn't mean that you are "only" meditating 20 mins per day rather than forty. There's no one-size-fits-all threshold to reach. No, it just means lacking the confidence and motivation to do what you really can, and which can start benefitting you right now! Meditation, yoga, playing a musical instrument, or any life-promoting discipline is not a punishment, but a reward. It's time to stop depriving yourself of that reward. Take the limits off how wonderful your life can be. Take them off slowly, but step-by-step, liberate yourself from what holds you back from the powerful disciplines of presence!
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