with a friend, and for a friend

Today I was inspired in my practice by another.

I have a weekly yoga date most weeks. A good friend and I meet on the mat and we cultivate our practice together. Tonight, as i drove home from work - feeling hungry, tired, and a little dehydrated - I recognized that if we weren't getting on the mats together, I probably wouldn't get on the mat at all.

And so I became very grateful for my friend. Because my commitment to be there for another made me get there myself.

And so, today's tip is simply this - find someone to share your practice with.

There are many ways to share one's practice. You can practice together with a friend. You could find a Teacher and commit yourself to studying under Her/Him. You could teach a class yourself. You could have a check in system where you report on how you did to someone you trust.

In any of these, the point is to have a close connection with another that you really value. This valued connection is what fuels you to continue. Ultimately, though, it is for another reason.

Anything that is worth doing, we cannot really do well if we're only doing it for ourselves. In the Buddhist tradition we recognize that one of the most powerful things we can do is to generate compassion for others and to work for their benefit. When we're striving to develop our personal Path of cultivation, we need this kind of power. We not only want to be able to sustain our practice consistently, but we want it to be blissful, and bear sweet fruit over time. The only way to do this is to do it for someone else.

S0, if you get a yoga buddy, or a meditation group, or a taiji Teacher, or whatever it is, recognize that you are not the only one who benefits. Just by asking them to aid you, you've given a little bit of your cultivation to them - you've invited them in to be part of the process. This willingness to invite another and learn to care for them invites a tremendous power into our lives which we can then utilize in whatever way we choose.

This doesn't only apply to a friend who we invite to yoga with us, or who texts us to remind us to get up and breathe, it can also mean who you are practicing for.

We all know that yoga helps the body grow healthy, meditation makes your mind calm and strong, taiji can put you "in the flow", and these are all wonderful things, but when done for personal benefit they can only take you so far.

The real strong meditators and practitioners have always known that the way to supercharge their practice and get them back on the cushion every day is to think of how the practice is going to benefit their children, their spouse, their grandmother, or anyone they love.

When you call these loved ones to mind, you'll recognize very quickly that they need you. They need the calm that arises from your meditation, they need the groundedness that you'll gain from your yoga. They have, in fact, always depended on these things, and now you have a chance to give them. You have a precious and rare opportunity to cultivate a mind and body that can give those you love the kind of care that they've always been hungry for -all it takes is your consistent practice.

If you try just for a short period to train in this way, you may find out that the more you concern yourself with the welfare of others, the more happiness comes your own way. It's one of the great paradoxes in this Life - when you give your practice away is the only time you'll start to experience the fullness of what is possible for yourself!

Action Steps:

1. What are some of the ways that your practice benefits others directly or indirectly?

2. Think of and list some concrete ways that you could actively benefit others with the discipline you wish to cultivate. Examples: "Teach a basic yoga class at my church" "invite some friends to start a spiritual book club". Pick the most do-able from your list and put it into practice in the next month.

3. Find a friend to be accountable to with your cultivation. This might be a Teacher who's class you commit to attending (to them verbally, or just inside), it might be a friend that you check in with, or it might be a date for walking meditation every Saturday.

4. Locate someone who has a similar goal to your own in terms of spiritual cultivation. Brainstorm ways to help them with their goal and then implement your ideas.

5. Contemplate if your current practice is generating more love in your life and enabling you to be of greater benefit to others.